So, I have been a terrible blogger recently. A lot has happened and it would take forever to catch up. Therefore, I'll start from the most recent thing that has occurred. I had wanted to wait to post pictures, but there won't be any pictures to post. Jared and I were expecting another baby and I was 14 weeks along. We went in for what we thought was going to be a very happy day because we were going to see how many babies were in my belly.
Come to find out, there was no heartbeat and that even though my gestation was 14 weeks, the fetus had stopped growing at 8 weeks. I had no signs or symptoms of a miscarriage. That was on Monday and on Tuesday, I got a D&C done. It was physically painful, but nowhere near the pain I felt emotionally. I feel for my husband. He is such a good man and I wanted this baby for him as much as I did for me.
So, just like that, there is no baby in my belly any longer. This has been the hardest thing I've ever gone through. I never thought I would have a miscarriage. But, I hope and pray that I won't have to experience this again. It is pain beyond words.
I am so grateful to the many family and friends that have been there and helped us through this terrible time. I am very especially thankful for my MIL and FIL. They were there the day we found out and was even there next to my hospital bed before my surgery. I know Jared needed them as much as I did. Thanks Pete and Mary. I love you guys!
As for how I am doing right now, I'm making it. I ask Jared what gets him through and he said the thought of having another baby. I'm not there quite yet because I had so badly wanted this baby, but I know I'll get there soon. Peter and Addy are a big help for me. I love my kids so much and I'm so grateful that they are here.
I know Heavenly Father has a plan and I have complete faith in him. I will always ache for my baby, but I know it is His will. Thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers.
3 comments:
Dear Walla,
I am so sorry about the loss of your baby, how hard. I don’t know exactly how you feel, but I know that it will all be okay. I am glad that you have good friends and family to support you. You will look back one day and see just how close you and your family grew together during this hard time. Paula, I miss your GUTS!! I hope you now that I love you tons, thanks for the msg. on my blog, I went private so if by chance you can’t get in to see it email me at stewartandbeckynorth@yahoo.com so we can add you. Try and cheer up I send you my love and many HUGS!!! Love Becky
Oh Paula I am so sorry about your baby. I am glad you have support around you and I hope that someday, when you are done grieving, that you can find peace. Here is a great big cyber hug for ya! Take care.
Paula! I don't know what to say that could make you feel any better. I have had to have a D&C also, but I think the hardest for me was I would feel angry and hurt, but that is alright, just don't let those feeling stay. We love you and you are right, the Lord has a big plan for you. If you need to talk, cry, or whatever, please let us know. Give our love to your cute family has well. Oh, getting blessings for me and richard was also helpful.
Love ya! The McConkies
Post a Comment